One last lesson–How to be my Angel…

Two days after Brady died, I wrote these words.  I can still remember the outpouring of emotion, the waterfall of tears hitting the glass of my iPad, as I sat in bed.  This is what flowed from me…One last lesson, how to be my angel.

January 13, 2014

My son,

I taught you how to play, and you played hard
I taught you how to ride, and you rode fast
I taught you how to throw, and you threw well
I taught you to be silly, and you made the world laugh
I taught you to cherish family, and you protected us
I taught you how to love, and the world loved you in return
I taught you how to drive, and well, you didn’t listen to everything
I taught you to be your own man, and you became one of a kind
I taught you about consequences, and you hated them, but accepted
I taught you everyday, and everyday you grew
I taught you that even in dark hours, there is hope and to never give up
I taught you how to live an entire life, in half a week
I taught you that you would do amazing things, and you believed

I had more to teach you Brady, but now my son, it is time for you to teach me

Teach me how to live with what I cannot live without
Bless me with strength to carry on, as today, for the very first time, I am a beaten man
Remind me how to lead our family, as they need me, now, more than ever before
Teach me how to be content, knowing I have four children, yet waking and only seeing three
Teach me that some rules truly, are meant to be broken
Teach me to turn pain into peace, as I have enough for the entire world
Lead me to a new path, a path to a new perfect life where I can finally be your best friend, instead of a father
Join me as I continue to build a life filled with helping others with all that I have worked so hard to attain
Remind me how to live life to the fullest, to live without fear, to live without regret
Steer me to know when to teach, when to love, and when to back away
Reach into my soul, and fill this gaping hole with all I did not know about you
Grow old with me, and expose to me, a cherished memory of our life together, each and every day
Make me a better man, husband, father, and friend, by being my Angel

Teach me Brady, And carry me…please my son, carry me and continue to protect us all

I love you, 100%…….Guaranteed 🙂

Forever your,

–Dad